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Movies so bad... there ought to be a law!



BAD MOVIE POLICE CASE #1: GALAXY OF THE DINOSAURS (DVD) Quantity in Basket: None
Catalog No.: BMP-105
Retail Price: 9.99
Tempe Online Price: $6.99
 
 
Quantity:
 
BAD MOVIE POLICE CASE #1: GALAXY OF THE DINOSAURS (DVD)
"BAD MOVIE POLICE CASE #1" starring ARIAUNA ALBRIGHT and LILITH STABS
with JESSE BEAN • JEFF DYLAN GRAHAM • RICK IRVIN and TANYA DEMPSEY
story & series creator J.R. BOOKWALTER • written & directed by JOHN TREACY
BAD MOVIE POLICE Series Copyright © 2003 Tempe Entertainment. All Rights Reserved.

BAD MOVIE POLICE presents a production of THE SUBURBAN TEMPE COMPANY a LANCE RANDAS pile
“GALAXY OF THE DINOSAURS” starring JAMES BLACK • CHRISTINE MORRISON • BILL MORRISON
TOM HOOVER • SCOTT EMERMAN • JOSEPH A. DAW and JAMES L. EDWARDS as “Graft”
production designer TODD HONE • music clearance SUBTEMPECO MUZIK • special makeup BILL MORRISON
edited by DARRYL SQUATMPUMP • directors of photography LANCE RANDAS and TODD HONE
executive producers UNWATCHABLE CINEMA • produced by J.R. BOOKWALTER
story by THOMAS BROWN • written by JON KILLOUGH • directed by LANCE RANDAS
Copyright © 2001 Tempe Entertainment. All Rights Reserved.

SYNOPSIS:
For anyone who’s ever watched a movie so bad you wished acting required a permit or that a 14-day waiting period was mandatory to buy a camera...the Bad Movie Police are here! Follow the adventures of Sgt. Elke Mantooth, Lt. Drucilla Dread and The BMP Task Force as they seek out the worst “cine-terrorists” in movie history and bring their crimes to justice for your entertainment!

The first BAD MOVIE POLICE case is a little gem from 1992 called GALAXY OF THE DINOSAURS. Its claim to fame is director Lance Randas’ gross misuse of stock footage from PLANET OF THE DINOSAURS, intercut with thrift store footage shot in the woods behind the director’s father’s house!

FAST FACTS:
1992 • Color • 71 mins. • Comedy / Sci-Fi • Unrated • Region 1 • NTSC DVD-5 Format
Cat. No. BMP-105 • Distributed by Bad Movie Police (a division of Tempe Video)
Retail Price: $9.99 • Street Date: Oct. 14th, 2003

MULTIMEDIA ONLINE:
Click here to see the DVD sleeve enlarged!

BMP CASE #1 EVIDENCE:
• Feature commentary track with producer J.R. Bookwalter and star James Black
• Behind-the-scenes featurette (17 mins.)
• “Into The Black” segment (7 mins.)
• Jessica Mills, Reporting (1 min.)
• Still gallery & original trailer
• Full-color insert with Sgt. Elke Mantooth bio

REVIEWS:
"Tempe is not only giving audiences the chance to ogle Ariauna Albright and Lilith Stabs in tight fitting “police uniforms” that also serve to expose well cultivated acres of cleavage, but also features the filmmakers themselves happily shredding their own movies...this little studio does indeed have a brave and welcome sense of humor when it comes to deservedly shredding its own work. For anyone who has even the slightest appreciation for lousy movies, this DVD release is not only a must-see, but a must-own. Kudos to J.R. Bookwalter and everyone else at Tempe for having the class to approach their own work with such a great sense of humor, and for giving the rest of us the chance to share in the joke." - Ziggy's Video Realm

"Smart move, Tempe! Despite the horrendous acting, terrible props, continuity holes that would swallow Anna Nicole Smith, it's just entertaining enough to keep your interest. Given a boost by the Bad Movie Police intro, it's surprisingly easy to sit through the hour or so that it runs. Extra bonus points for the self-deprecation it took to present GALAXY in this format. Tempe takes a few (well deserved) shots to the body and re-released it with their tongues firmly in cheek and no apologies for what they've done. I can't applaud Tempe enough for starting up this series...Bad Movie Police is a blessing and a half." - Monsters At Play

"Added all together, the goofs and gaffes, the anemic acting and outrageous nothingness of the action scenes, means that GALAXY OF THE DINOSAURS is one of the worst, most godawful wastes of time you will ever come across. And yet, this movie entertains. It enlightens and invigorates. Tempe Video has begun a new DVD series, and it's a real winner. The Bad Movie Police, like a law enforcement Elvira, stars a couple of pseudo-hot chicks in all manner of Goth cop clothing. It is all played within a near perfect patrolperson lampoon, and the lead actresses (Ariauna Albright and Lilith Stabs) give their performances a real deadpan drollness. Their Top Ten Crimes Against Cinema rundowns are priceless. The image has been totally remastered and the horrid Super-VHS cuts and defects ironed out digitally. This means that something that should have been almost unwatchable now looks better than many of Artisan's tainted transfers...a great DVD of a dumb but deceptively delightful homemade nightmare." - DVD Verdict

"Let me be the first to say it. J.R. Bookwalter is a friggin' genius! The bits are kind of funny and we get to see a couple of well-endowed women doing what they do best. So, in conclusion, J.R. Bookwalter is a genius. He manages to repackage tripe that no one rented the first time around and somehow makes it look cool. For film students and fans of Ed Wood Jr., it's a good lesson on using stock footage in the worst way possible. For everyone else, at least the girls that play the Bad Movie Police are nice to look at." - Cult Cuts

"My rating of 4 skulls is strictly based on the way Bookwalter has decided to breath new life into his decomposing skeletons. He is able to laugh at himself and still entertain the masses at the same time. Mucho respect to J.R. Bookwalter for restocking the video shelves for me and my drunken buddies." - Horrorview

"Shot in the style of ‘70s cop shows like ADAM 12, the first segment has them busting up a movie that’s little more than a front for a gay porno ring...dressed in low-cut fetish-oriented cop uniforms, Albright and Stabs approach their roles with relish and play the scenes straight. To say the intros are the most entertaining part of the DVDs is obvious, but missing the point. The movies representing the meat of the discs are terrible, bordering on unwatchable, but in that “fun” way that will appeal to folks who like to seek out the unedited movies featured on the MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 series. Bookwalter understands this and isn’t above making a little extra money on these embarrassments from his past. BAD MOVIE POLICE should be an inspiration — and a warning — to bad filmmakers everywhere." - Film Threat

"The opening segments are well done, with pretty good fight scenes and lots of humor; they have a good time, and present the idea of what they are doing in a straight forward manner, while still showing cleavege and fishnet hose. My kind of cops. I swear, I could not even begin to tell you the stuff that makes the film work as both a comedy and as something to actually make fun of... worth the money simply for the chance to make fun of them at a party with your friends." - Penguin Comics

"Hotties Ariauna Albright and Lilith Stabs star in a short framing sequence where they arrest the perpetrators of cinematic crimes.  Unfortunately, director Lance Randas appears to have escaped their clutches...the framing sequence was entertaining enough to almost make suffering through GALAXY forgivable. Almost, but not quite." - Utter Trash



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